Ooo's Journals

Closing Shop.

Sad news: I am going to have to stop posting any content on this or other blogs that could possibly offend ANYONE. This could be photos, journal entries, opinions, political viewpoints, links and/or comments. Evidently, some folks have been trolling this and other accounts of mine, looking for things to complain about, and they have found just enough of what they were looking for to harm me. Ergo: I may not be back for a while.

This is not a permanent farewell, but for now, don't expect very many updates on this account.

I can't say that I feel violated by the intrusion or the recent off-line harrassment, but the feeling comes pretty close, I guess. Until I get these issues resolved and feel safe coming back to Buzznet, keep posting, keep enriching this wonderful online community, and I'll catch you guys on the flip side.

Cheers,

oOo

Flying to San Antonio this week

I'm going to spend a few days in San Antonio (TX) this week, and since I don't have enough room in my carry-on to bring along my serious cameras (and massive lenses) I added a little G9 to the Canon family:

This little dizzle is so porratble and convenient that it is going to make Buzzneting a whole lot easier. I have to admit that I dig my DSLRs a whole hell of a lot, but I really needed something a little more pocket-sized to carry around with me.

Is Bert Stern the worst portrait photographer? Yes, he very well may be.

Read the full post here.

Random Crush of the Week: Sophie Marceau

Random Crush Of The Week: Sophie Marceau

Reasons why I would sin with Sophie Marceau:

1. Her name is Sophie Marceau, which is one of the sexiest names in the world if you are a French woman.
2. She is not ugly.
3. She has brown hair. (This is a good thing.)
4. She speaks French, even when naked.
5. She also speaks English, occasionally when naked.
6. She has very nice girl parts, all of them very real.
7. Because she went to school in France, she is well educated - which means we can have fascinating conversations about Zola, Voltaire and Proust while eating cassoulet or sharing a jambon-beurre.
8. She drives a stick shift.
9. She was a James Bond girl.
10. I may or may not have had a crush on her since the 6th grade.

To prove my point, here is part of an interview in which Sophie expresses her awesomeness:

"The best way to protect the Culture is by making it worthy -- not by passing laws. France is a country of subsidies. Socially speaking, that's fine, but culturally it can create problems. Nobody is challenged or forced to question their work, and that leads to an extremely conservative environment. There are no new ideas. France is not a modern country! And cinema is a modern art ...
"So I think it's great that American cinema poses such a threat. I don't think we should imitate it -- it's not our culture. But right now we have all these pseudo-auteurs who bore me, who don't have a new idea in their heads. And since they are so well-protected against the American invaders, they live among themselves in total autocracy. Outside France, their ideas interest nobody, but they won't change, because they're not really in danger ...

"What I wish for the French cinema -- and this is terrible, because I'd be the first victim -- is that it gets even worse. Because then, at least, we'll look for new solutions. The problem with the French, in politics as well as in cinema, is that we say nothing, we change nothing until we're pushed to the limit.

"Someone once said, 'The French hate change, but they adore revolution.' It's true. We can't change day by day. We wait and wait, and we say nothing. And then, one day we can't stand it any longer, we kill everyone !"

Seriously. How hot is that!

As Bob McManus once said, "French women. Not only prettier than all other species but also smarter and more fun. Sorry, it's true."

Ummm... Yeah. Sorry. It's like, a generalization, but yeah. For the most part.

In case you still can't figure out who Sophie Marceau is, perhaps you remember her as the insanely hot French queen in Braveheart. Mel Gibson is gay, so I don't mind so much that she had to pretend to like him in that movie. In my opinion, Mel Gibson should have made a sequel about the queen called "Braveheart 2: The life and times of the naked queen of France."

Or perhaps this sultry villainess who made James Bond / Pierce Brosnan a very lucky man a few years back. Fortunately, I have it from very trustworthy sources that Pierce is not into women at all (not that there's anything wrong with that), which is pretty impressive given that he has to kiss and get nekkid with lots of them as James the Bond. I know from watching gay friends try to act straight that this is no small task, so I am all for writing a letter to The Academy recommending him for a lifetime academy award for his work on acting straight. Unlike Tom Cruise, he actually pulls it off. The kissing scenes were completely simulated in this movie, obviously. Sophie tells me he is actually a very ugly man and that every frame has to be touched up to make him look the way he does. Yes, you heard it here first, Pierce Brosnan is a CGI creation of Industrial Lights and Magic. (I knew it!!!)

Here, Sophie looks bored. I bet she is wishing that I would call her and ask her out on a date. I believe this photo was taken between takes while Pierce was getting ready for another awkward kiss on the mouths.

Here, Sophie is waiting for me in her kitchen where she plans to either a) cook me a delicious feast, or b) lather herself with honey, whipped cream, warm ganache, raw sugar crystals and crushed figs. Yes, you will notice that she is barefoot in the kitchen (a rule at my house), but not yet pregnant.

Here, Sophie is reminding me to drop by costco on my way home to buy her new underwear.

Here, Sophie is showing me her teeth and her cleavage in a not very subtle attempt to get me to take my clothes off for her. This happens a lot. She always gets that goofy look whenever I have clothes on. It is very boring and unattractive. She needs to work on that.

Have a great day, and remember to tell all of your friends that Sophie Marceau is the hottest woman on the planet, bar none. Make sure to tell this to your wives and girlfriends REPEATEDLY, as they will surely agree with you and reward your good tastes with lots of offerings of love and chocolates.

A bientot,

oOo

143,000,000 pounds of beef recalled - The difference between this event and business as usual.

Looks like I picked a good month to go vegetarian (from MSN.com):

The U.S. Department of Agriculture on Sunday ordered the recall of 143 million pounds of frozen beef from a California slaughterhouse, the subject of an animal-abuse investigation, that provided meat to school lunch programs.
Officials said it was the largest beef recall in the United States, surpassing a 1999 ban of 35 million pounds of ready-to-eat meats. No illnesses have been linked to the newly recalled meat, and officials said the health threat was likely small.
The recall will affect beef products dating to Feb. 1, 2006, that came from Chino-based Westland/Hallmark Meat Co., the federal agency said.
Secretary of Agriculture Ed Schafer said his department has evidence that Westland did not routinely contact its veterinarian when cattle became non-ambulatory after passing inspection, violating health regulations.
â�œBecause the cattle did not receive complete and proper inspection, Food Safety and Inspection Service has determined them to be unfit for human food and the company is conducting a recall,â� Schafer said in a statement.
A phone message left for Westland president Steve Mendell was not immediately returned.
Federal officials suspended operations at Westland/Hallmark after an undercover video from the Humane Society of the United States surfaced showing crippled and sick animals being shoved with forklifts.
Three ex-employees charged
Two former employees were charged Friday. Five felony counts of animal cruelty and three misdemeanors were filed against a pen manager. Three misdemeanor counts â�” illegal movement of a non-ambulatory animal â�” were filed against an employee who worked under that manager. Both were fired.
Authorities said the video showed workers kicking, shocking and otherwise abusing â�œdownerâ� animals that were apparently too sick or injured to walk into the slaughterhouse. Some animals had water forced down their throats, San Bernardino County prosecutor Michael Ramos said.
No charges have been filed against Westland, but an investigation by federal authorities continues.
Officials estimate that about 37 million pounds of the recalled beef went to school programs, but they believe most of the meat probably has already been eaten.
â�œWe donâ�™t know how much product is out there right now. We donâ�™t think there is a health hazard, but we do have to take this action,â� said Dr. Dick Raymond, USDA Undersecretary for Food Safety.
Most of the beef was sent to distribution centers in bulk packages. The USDA said it will work with distrbutors to determine how much meat remains.
Federal regulations call for keeping downed cattle out of the food supply because they may pose a higher risk of contamination from E. coli, salmonella or mad cow disease because they typically wallow in feces and their immune systems are often weak.
About 150 school districts around the nation have stopped using ground beef from Hallmark Meat Packing Co., which is associated with Westland. Two fast-food chains, Jack-In-the-Box and In-N-Out, said they would not use beef from Westland/Hallmark.
Jack in the Box, a San Diego-based company with restaurants in 18 states, told its meat suppliers not to use Hallmark until further notice, but it was unclear whether it had used any Hallmark meat. In-N-Out, an Irvine-based chain, also halted use of the Westland/Hallmark beef. Other chains such as McDonaldâ�™s and Burger King said they do not buy beef from Westland.
Raymond countered a claim leveled by Humane Society President and CEO Wayne Pacelle, who said a USDA inspector was at the Westland plant for about two hours each day. USDA inspectors are there at slaughterhouses â�œcontinuously,â� Raymond said.
Federal lawmakers on Thursday had called for the Government Accountability Office to investigate the safety of meat in the National School Lunch Program.
'Test our luck'
Upon learning about the recall, some legislators criticized the USDA, saying the federal agency should conduct more thorough inspections to ensure tainted beef doesnâ�™t get to the public.
â�œToday marks the largest beef recall in U.S. history, and it involves the national school lunch program and other federal food and nutrition programs,â� said U.S. Sen. Tom Harkin, chairman of the Chairman of the Senate Committee on Agriculture, Nutrition and Forestry. â�œThis begs the question: how much longer will we continue to test our luck with weak enforcement of federal food safety regulations?â�
Advocacy groups also weighed in, noting the problems at Westland wouldnâ�™t have been revealed had it not been for animal right activists.
â�œOn the one hand, Iâ�™m glad that the recall is taking place. On the other, itâ�™s somewhat disturbing, given that obviously much of this food has already been eaten,â� said Jean Halloran, director of food policy initiatives at Consumers Union. â�œItâ�™s really closing the barn door after the cows left.â�
Â© 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Bear in mind that this happened because of an animal abuse investigation - not a meat contamination investigation. We aren't talking about kids getting sick with e-coli here. Someone snuck a camera into a slaughterhouse and filmed what goes on there, and when the tape went public, the powers that be were forced to do something about it.

If you think that this is an isolated incident, think again.

If indeed, the fact that the horrendous living conditions of cattle - essentially living in its own shit - makes it unsuitable for human consumption, then a very large percentage of the beef produced every day in this country is indeed unsuitable for human consumption.

In that respect, the 143,000,000 pounds of beef being recalled is no different from the previous 143,000,000 pounds of beef sold throughout the US, or the 143,000,000 before that.

Fifty years ago, we had a name for assholes who got off on kicking the shit out of a helpless living thing too sick to walk into a slaughterhouse on its own: We called them SS or Nazis.

Greater governmental scrutiny at meat production operations in the US wouldn't suck at some point. This good-old-boy politico-corporate network of live and let fuck around is really starting to get up my ass.

I am not eating beef - or any meat, for that matter - until this shit gets fixed.

Knight Rider v.2008: Yet another sign of the impending apocalypse.

Any TV pilot that a) follows American Gladiator v.2008 and b) has lines like these in it has my vote:

Asking the new Michael Knight to volunteer to drive KIT and become a kickass top secret crimefighter: "Either participate, or withdraw."

What the hell? Who talks like this? How about recruiting the guy the old fashioned way:

a. Set him up on trumped-up kiddie porn charges and mail fraud and blackmail him into serving his government in exchange for his life back.
b. Throw a couple of peroxide-silicone honeys at him and tell him they come with the job - which evidently, based on the first five minutes of the show, is what Michael Knight's lifestyle is all about anyway.
c. Bribe him. You know... like, with cash, or better yet, stock in Halliburton and Exxon.
d. Remind him that if he accepts, he will get to drive the most awesome crime-fighting supercar EVER (with which he can bag his own peroxide-silicone honeys fo shizzle) and get paid for breaking the speed limit.

But no. All the NBC writers (pre-strike) could think of was "Either participate, or withdraw." Was the Tehminahtor hanging out in the creative suite that day? WTF?!?!?!

The girl/daughter of the main scientist guy - not the sorry excuse for an L-Word wannabe plot device lesbian with a gun and a badge character - being confronted by her would-be kidnappers: "How... how do you know my father?"
Bad guy kidnapper dude with a euro accent (of course) replies with a grin: "I watched him die."
Muhahahaha!!!!

Come on!!!!!

Or how about the Hoff making a completely deadpan and forced cameo at the end of the pilot: "I'm Michael. Michael Knight." Wait for it...

Wait... for... it... okay, here it is: "I'm your father."

Holy shit, I just puked all over my TV.

Michael Knight (The Hoff) turns out to be Michael Knight's (pudgy douchebag with the chin) father.

My head feels like Mr. T just kicked it in the nads. Maybe it's the afterpain, but I sense a remake of "The A Team" in the works.

*sigh*

Ford and NBC's Knight Rider crossover marketing blitz was pretty flawless, though. Too bad the show sucks and the Ford crossover commercials reak of unimaginative douchebag deal-making. (As if any of this actually made anyone with an IQ of 30 or higher want to buy a Ford).

Give me a fucking break. I can't believe I got suckered into giving this gigantic turd twenty minutes of my time on a perfectly good Sunday night. Anyone who actually watched the full two hours should be lobotomized and forced to sit through the entire first season of Big Brother.

My questions to the retarded execs at NBC:

#1: Why remake Knight Rider. Seriously. Why. It wasn't even good the first time.
#2: If you insist on remaking Knight Rider (or Bionic Woman, for that matter), why not do it right? Why not make it awesome?
#3: Must every NBC show have a father-son legacy backplot? WTF x infinity.
#4: Can't you hire real writers? You know... like... with talent and ideas and a modicum of sense when it comes to writing dialogue?
#5: Who the hell hired you and what the hell were they snorting again?
#6: Back to #1 - Are you completely out of new/fresh ideas? Because I know a handful of folks who could revive your lineup in two shakes and a snap.
#7: How can you suck at your jobs that badly? I mean... really.
#8: How exactly did you manage to make the new KIT so fucking boring? The old one may have been a Camaro, but it was cool. This one sucks ass. It doesn't even have an accent - which I am willing to bet a hefty pile of Toblerone was actually a directive from Ford: "Our car will not have a foreign accent. It is American-made, blah blah blah."
#9: How could you miss obvious KIT product placement opportunities like a) a nanotechnology cup holder that adapts to the exact specifications of every Coke can or bottle, b) an iPod docking tower somewhere in the dashboard, and c) a little driverside tray for Michael Knight's Happy Meals when he has the munchies?
#10: Has anyone at NBC ever driven a stick shift? Have your actors? Watch the pilot again and explain to me what the fuck Michael Knight is doing exactly when he is pretending to shift an automatic transmission every ten seconds.

You're killing me with the shit you're pumping out lately. Seriously. What else do you have up your collective sleeves, you bunch of McGeniuses? A sitcom about a meatpacking plant?

Wait, no... that would at least be original.

I can't wait for you fuckwads to try and remake Wonder Woman and the Invisible Man.

I am officially boycotting Valentine's Day this year.

I never liked St. Valentine's Day. Not in France, and certainly not here. People complain about how Christmas has become commercial and materialistic? Give me a break. What's Valentine's Day about? Roses? Candy? Jewelry? A special dinner date? The "must dos" of another bullshit holiday pushed by greeting card giants and retailers?

I'm listening to the radio on my way to work this morning, and all I hear about are stories of how guys (the DJs) did this and that for their significant others. The news lady then chimes in with commentary on how they should have done more, or how if a large amount of money isn't lavished upon a woman, her man is a cheapskate. How depressing. None of it was done for any other reason than the fact that they felt that they HAD to. It was expected.

St. Valentine's Day has become an ass-kissing holiday. Nothing more. Spend your money, or else be branded as a cheapskate. A bad boyfriend or husband. Insensitive.

Corn nuts.

Long ago, I remember Valentine's Day feeling kind of like a 'sweethearts' day. It was a day set aside for people who liked or loved each other and wanted to celebrate what they had in subtle, tender ways. Maybe a little gift, or maybe just a kiss to mark the occasion. No big deal. In any case, it was about being genuine. It wasn't a duty. There wasn't a specified $ amount attached to it. There were no expectations of anything other than... love, caring, and subtle nice things. Remember to do something nice for your better half today. Give him or her a little more attention than usual. I guess that's changed. Now Valentine's Day about prefabricated cookie-cutter bullshit you read about in Cosmo or men's health, or msn.com. It's about mass-produced cards and boxes of chocolate and boring bouquets.

Now, Valentine's Day is a contest to see how many of us will buy the same boring shit for our loved one just because we're expected to.

I've never had a good Valentine's Day. Not single, not attached, not married... no matter. I don't mean that my Valentines' Days are miserable. Not at all. They're like any other day, really... Good and bad, but mostly good. What I mean is that when it comes to having a V-Day stand out because of the Valentine thing, no. I can't think of any year when that has happened. When whomever I was seeing at the time did something truly kind and simple and loving.

What passes for "romantic" these days crawls up my ass. Like anything HAS to be 'romantic' anyway. Like we have to assign a label on everything. Let's see... Walking on a beach, watching a sunset, getting a dozen red roses... Come on. This is real life, people. Real life isn't about trying to recreate what you see on TV, hoping it'll pass for genuine and true.

And it certainly isn't buying some piece of shit mass-produced product at Walmart or Walgreen's or wherever the fuck you found it on sale.

Maybe it's a cultural thing. Maybe I just don't get it. Maybe I just think that romantic things are unspoken and unplanned. Maybe I think that what is romantic can't be defined as such until it hits you by surprise, until it makes you feel in love again. Maybe waking up to a beautiful spring morning is romantic. Maybe having lunch in a small crummy restaurant because your car broke down and you're stuck in the middle of nowhere is romantic. Maybe chopping wood to make a fire because your power went out in an ice-storm is romantic. To me, 'romantic' is something you try to explain to someone who wasn't there... but can't get close no matter how good a storyteller you are. It's a moment. It's a feeling. It isn't a fucking heart-shaped box of chocolates wraped in plastic or an uptown black tie dinner. It isn't a day at the spa with rose petal massages and Yanni floating out of the walls. It isn't a card with someone else's words and art on it. Valentine's Day isn't an African stone sitting inside a little silk-lined velvet box.

The best Valentine's Day gift I ever got was a kiss. A simple kiss.

And it wasn't even on St. Valentine's Day.

This year, not only am I not buying ANYONE any valentine's day cards, flowers, chocolates, bears or any other bullshit gifts, I am also refusing any and all gifts, including cards, candy, chocolates, etc. should the unlikely event that someone close to me actually bothered to waste a few bucks on a last minute piece of shit gift. I've played that game every year for as long as I remember, and it's time for it to move the hell on out of my calendar once and for all.

I am hereby scratching this holiday off my books. I am seriously done with this bullshit.

End post.

There Will Be Blood: Daniel day lewis rocks despite pointless ending.

There is just no doubt about it: Daniel Day Lewis is one of the greatest actors in the history of cinema. Period. While actors like DeNiro, Clooney, Pitt, Hoffman, Douglas, and Hackman dazzle us with their terrific charismatic presence, perfect timing and just the right depth of emotion, DDL simply creates entirely new and original characters... and allows them to take him over completely. The guy is unbelievably good. Holy crap. He deserves an Academy Award for this role in There Will Be Blood, hands down. heck, he deserves some kind of medal. Maybe even a marble statue.

Especially since he pretty much carries this otherwise disappointing movie squarely on his shoulders.

Now... I am not going to crap on this movie... especially after raving about the equally flawed Cloverfield last week, but I have to admit that after hearing so many great things about it, I was disappointed in the last thirty minutes of it much like I was disappointed in the last thirty minutes of I Am Legend. Without giving any of it away, let's just say that the end was so disjointed from the rest of the movie that it seemed to have been either written by someone else, or added to the movie in a hurry by a team of editors who hadn't watched the previous two hours.

When the end came and the credits started rolling, I sat in my seat staring at the screen wondering "What the fuck?!"

What the fuck indeed. It was like finishing off the best meal you've ever had with a slice of frozen $1.99 cherry-flavored pie from the local 7-11.

Here I have watched this guy build an oil empire, deal with his growing hatred for humanity, his desperate need for a family, his slow descent into madness, and the lengths to which he will go to beat his competitors for two deliberately long hours... and then we suddenly fast forward to a rushed ending that makes as much sense as the drunken afterthought of some studio exec's flunkie team of ass-kissing interns? Are you fucking kidding me? After everything we just went through together, you're going to end this movie on complete and total bullshit?

Arrrgh.

Am I getting tired of watching great movies and unforgettable performances get ruined by shitty endings? You bet.

Until its unfortunate ending, There Will Be Blood was exciting to watch. The way it was filmed, edited, paced and scored was absolutely brilliant, and rarely do I get excited just sitting there watching a guy crawl up a makeshift ladder in the middle of the desert or running towards a burning oil well. This was some of the finest movie making I have seen in decades. I've heard it said that this movie would be studied in film school for years to come, and I can see why. It is brilliant in many, many ways.

That being said, pitching the Oil Company against the congregation over a plot of land would have anchored the story better. It would have given it more energy and purpose. This should have been a story of conflict and escalation and revenge rather than a story of an eccentric guy obsessed with building an oil empire who eventually goes completely insane with hatred and makes some very bad choices. Because this sense of conflict was treated as an aside in the script instead of being central to it, every chapter of the movie feels like little more that a plot device to add another twenty minutes to the movie's total running time. *sigh*

Still, Daniel Day Lewis's performance is worth sitting through the entire movie and suffering through its completely unnecessary and disappointing ending.

PS: Someone please start teaching the concept of "climax" to film makers again. (And I don't mean what happens in the editing room with the hot new interns between takes.)

Lone Wolf McQuade - The best Christmas movie EVER.

So I finally watched Lone Wolf McQuade all the way through today. For whatever reason, I hadn't had the pleasure yet. Maybe it's because my people (the French) surprisingly didn't get into Chuck Norris all that much until Walker, Texas Ranger made its way to their TV screens. I say "surprisingly" because TF1 and A2 (the two main French TV networks) were all into A-Team, Magnum P.I., Starsky & Hutch, Man From Atlantis, Six Million Dollar Man, Bionic Woman, Love Boat and Kung Fu when I was coming of age... So you would think that such an affinity for American staples of viewing mediocrity (as entertaining as it all may be) would have led to some sort of path towards the wonderful macho world of Chuck Norris.

But no.

So here we are, 36.5 years into this life, and only today did I finally get to watch Lone Wolf McQuade from start to finish. All I can say is WOW!!!!! The genius of it. Seriously. I can't believed it hasn't been spoofed yet - perhaps because it spoofs itself. Towards the end, the kids and I turned down the volume and started making up our own dialogue, and at one point, our made-up dialogue actually turned out to be the same as the real thing.

Chuck Norris, wounded, is burried in a sandy grave inside his monster truck. His first reflex is of course to crack open a beer, drink half of it, and shower with the other half. Screaming, he guns his truck and emerges from the ground. He then dispatches all of the remaining bad guys and sits down. His buddy Chakotay (from Star Trek Voyager) sits next to him and asks him something. We pretend Chuck's answer is "I could use another beer!" We all have a good laugh. Chakotay reaches inside the truck, produces a can of Brewsky, and cracks it open for the great bearded one. Classic!

The dwarf criminal mastermind is probably the best character in the whole movie. (He has the best lines, anyway. And the best delivery. He's also a compulsive gambler, as you will soon find out when you watch it.)

Other cool scenes and details to look for:

- The compulsive cleaning of Chuck's house by his girlfriend.
- Chuck Norris kisses.
- Chuck Norris and his girlfriend making out in the mud in slow motion. (Watch for the spurting water hose metaphor)
- Count how many beers Chuck cracks open during the movie.
- Chuck kicking the dwarf's bodyguard's ass twice, for absolutely no reason at all. (Hilarious!)
- Chuck's Mad-Max supertruck revved up engine.
- Chuck's chest hairs.
- Chuck's front yard.
- Chuck's awesome manly home decor.
- Police procedures.
- Lando Calrisian lookalike "Agent Jackson" (every scene).
- Agent Jackson's yellow tie.
- The dwarf's compulsive gambling scene at his desk.
- The dwarf's binoculars.
- The dwarf's rotating wall.
- The dwarf's laugh, accent, and voice.
- Agent Jackson getting shot how many times... but staying in the fight.
- Chakotay's screen presence.
- Uzi love.
- Every single line of dialogue, and every thought that went into the script.

You really owe it yourselves to either rent it, or catch it on Action Stars, TNT, TBS, or Spike TV during the holiday season.

If I can't convince you, here's what thhe Hollywood Reporter had to say about LWMQ: It is an "unabashedly action-oriented and skillfully crafted film."

"Skillflly crafted?" Please! It's a masterpiece. Go watch it.

Random crush of the week: Alicia Keys

Okay, so I finally watched Smokin' Aces last night, and I have to say that Ms. Alicia Keys kind of stole the show.

I always thought she was pretty and everything, but that movie takes her mojo to a whole different level. Oh my god. Her spice factor is off the charts. I'm all verklempt now.

Which might prompt a new Top Ten crush list... and an Alicia Keys shrine, even.

Is that so wrong?

That's her on the right (above) and in the orange box (below).